Does My Boyfriend Love Me

If you are sitting around wondering if your boyfriend loves you, chances are you are wasting your time. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because there is no way to determine an answer to this within the confines of your own head. Obsessing over every interaction, analyzing every gesture or comment and speculating if the delay in his response to your text or your phone call means that he is not that into you is not at all useful, to put it lightly. There are a few simple steps that can help you to stop speculating and start enjoying your relationship.

Step 1

• Concentrate on your own feelings and actions. In this relationship are you present and “being yourself?” Or are you trying to please your boyfriend or manipulate him through your actions or trying to get him to tell you what you want to hear? If you start operating from your own truth, sharing your feelings and expressing what you enjoy in life and enjoy about him, you may find that your communication as a couple improves.
• If you are wondering if your boyfriend means it when he says he loves you or if he still loves you, instead, express how you feel honestly and in a straightforward manner. Try not to create the expectation for an immediate response. Remember you are sharing your feelings, which are a gift to him and you don’t give gifts with the expectation of receiving one right back, do you? Most importantly, try not to frame it as a negative.  That is, sharing your positive feelings about the relationship invites his positive feelings about the relationship, rather than starting a conversation about how you don’t think he loves you anymore which sets him up to “prove it” within the conversation.

Step 2

• Process your concerns out loud with someone other than your boyfriend. Ideally, you will have such open and amazing communication with your boyfriend that you can share your feelings and fears in the moment and without endlessly turning them over in your mind. However, in most relationships we enlist friends, counselors, and family to help us to sort through our feelings. It is important to find someone who has an opinion you trust, and has your best interest in mind but can remain objective enough to help you understand your own role in the uncertainty you are feeling in your relationship. Finding someone you can trust and confide in can help you to organize your thoughts and feelings and separate what is actually going on from the drama you may be creating in your head.

Step 3

• Consider an online assessment to help you organize and analyze your relationship anxiety. There are unlimited tools on the Internet in a variety of forms that are essentially, does my boyfriend love me tests. These evaluations can help you to distill the hundreds of questions you run through your mind daily into a manageable few dozen questions with answers that are the core to your relationship worries.  These tests may not provide definitive answers but they will provide you with enough evidence about what you are feeling and observing to help you make your own decision based on thoughtful reflection rather than flustered, cyclical thinking.

Overall, concentrate on being yourself and in behaving authentically. If you need to talk to others or take an online love quiz to help you relax and understand your feelings about your relationship, then by all means take advantage of these options. But use them to help you get to a place where you can be honest and present and communicate with your boyfriend and enjoy your time together. Any relationship that has a significant undercurrent of fear and worry and suspicion is destined to fail.